psuedojesus's News

Zombies #0

2012-06-19 15:21:04 by psuedojesus
Updated

It's a flash fiction I wrote out of boredom and fun. I would like to expand on it a little more, but I want to see the reaction first.

They originally said it would be easy. They said it would be fun. 'Join the Militia' the sign said.

We should have never done it.

It was me, Jimmy, Wussy Dave, and Sammy the Snatch Hunter, all out in the middle of the desert. We'd found a large group of them roaming around what appeared to be one of our camps, and judging by the numbers of them, there were no survivors. We pulled out our ammo. All we had left was a box of 9mm rounds, a hunting knife, a katana, homemade rounds for Dave's rifle, and a cigarette case. After much arguing, we split up the supplies.

Dave covered the rest of us while we charged into the camp, popping heads around us one by one, blood and brain matter everyone as they shuffled, but they soon caught out scent. They started charging back, and we fought. Jimmy started firing rounds into them, popping them in the ear with the knife when they got close enough, so as to conserve ammo. I'm swinging the sword, taking heads one by one, and flinging them as a distraction for Jimmy. After a bit, with the zombies starting to ignore us again, we began to worry about Sammy.

We found him in one of the tents, where, while looking for medical supplies, he came upon a nurse, and had started beating her brain in with the cigarette case in order to subdue her. He was still on top of her, bashing, which wouldn't have been too disconcerting on its own. However, he somehow had lost his pants, and, while looking at us with what seemed to be both disgrace and enjoyment, we backed out of the tent, and lit up a couple smokes, while I commented on our situation.

"At least we know our asses are safe."


Misfortune #1

2012-06-19 00:42:29 by psuedojesus

A new poem with a special format: thirteen syllables by thirteen lines.

Misfortune #1


"Jokers Are Wild"

2012-06-17 03:21:10 by psuedojesus

New poem. Not sure if anyone cares.

"Jokers Are Wild"


"Teddy Bear"

2012-04-13 18:50:08 by psuedojesus

A new poem? Sort of. I'm hoping everyone likes this... though if you don't, that's fine.

"Teddy Bear"


"The New Dope Peddler"

2012-01-14 16:52:12 by psuedojesus

What do you think of intoxication? Comment after listening, and let me know, if you understand what I'm talking about.

Or entertain yourself with my ugly face and horrible voice. Audio is where it's supposed to be.

"The New Dope Peddler"



... but before surrendering like the French to it's tastiness, I made two new video, and as well, as usual now, two new audio tracks, which you should be able to find by now.

"They Say Drinking Helps"

"If She Smiles, It Isn't Rape"



Newest poem. Not much to explain. Audio is on my profile, if my ugly face makes you want to vomit.

"There Are No Corpses in Paradise"


"Upside to Ethyl Hydroxide"

2011-11-07 20:30:54 by psuedojesus

A new video... about something I know most of us love.

Please comment, and if you don't like my ugly face, there is an audio track.

"Upside to Ethyl Hydroxide"


"Those At the Top"

2011-11-06 20:01:09 by psuedojesus

New poem! Just like all other new poems, it gets a video and an audio track.

For the audio track, be on my profile, and you'll find it, no problem.

For the video:
"Those At the Top"

Remember to tell me what you think...


"Dead Man's Anthem"

2011-10-24 17:10:51 by psuedojesus

Alright, so there is a new video.

Unlike my other poems, however, you can only listen to it, either by watching me by clicking the link, or by going and listening to the audio track I've uploaded here on Newgrounds.

So, if you can't stand my ranting, or my ugly face, you can still listen to the poem, and post your comments, and make fun me all you like still, without all the blindness and vomiting.

"Dead Man's Anthem"